Like a fire

Community

Posted by Paul in Discipleship, Paul Martin, Youth Ministry, likeafire on 11 Sep 2006 | 8 Comments

I have been a long advocate for non-conformity to the social networking trends of myspace and its clones. It just seems like false community. There are so many people out there on these sites that can’t see themselves clearly enough to even build a page that would represent them accurately, and that is if they actually want to be seen for who they are, instead of who they want people to see. I might have to change my mind though.

This last week I had the great privilege of meeting with someone I met solely through a blog. Actually it was the second time we have met. I was more encouraged and sharpened by my time than I have been in the community I have been a part of for over two years. Thanks Grant.

I am trying to figure out what community really is. Without any pre-thought, I can say that most people who say this word probably don’t have a clear idea about what it is either. I think that it is more than feel good meetings and friendship, because there are times in community that are tough and not fun. I think that it is more than saying hello at church and asking how someone is doing, because I have been in those situations and felt very lonely. I think it has to be more than just meeting together regularly without getting to know the lives of the people gathered, because that is a place that is too easy to hide. So I guess I know a lot about what community is not, and not a whole lot about what it is.

Maybe someone will comment (hint, hint) and fill me in.

8 Comments

Maybe there's different "levels" of community? Like, varying degrees of intimacy within community?

Tim / 11 Sep 2006 / 10:32 PM
There probably are Tim. What would they be?

Paul / 11 Sep 2006 / 10:43 PM
In my mind, when I hear the word "community", I think of a little Italy in New York, or a Calle Ocho in Miami. I picture people hanging out in front of their houses, not inside with their blinds closed. I can see a kid in trouble knocking on any door and the people inside open it and let him in - no questions asked - because he's little Jimmy from down the street and we take care of our own. The problem with that kind of community is that it's so hard to become a part of a community if you're not a charter member. You always feel like an outsider not a "made" man. Sometimes the church feels that way. And we all know it shouldn't be that way. There should be no "clicks", no one better than the other, no arrogance. I think real community doesn't happen unless there's an atmosphere in which we can love each other unconditionally. A place in which we can give or take without feeling we have to perform to be accepted. A place that we can feel safe, where we won't be judged, just loved. You know there's going to be community when the Kingdom comes. The real question is why can't we start to have community now? Why wait 'til then? What if we take our masks off now?

PaulF / 12 Sep 2006 / 10:25 AM
2 things PaulF hits are key - IMHO - belonging and authenticity. hard to have one without the other, I guess this would be a great 'chicken-egg' conversation. I think the onus is on us 'leaders' to be authentic/vulnerable early and often. We're the thermostats. the same level of vulnerability I've chosen to have with you, Paul....I've chosen with other people and they've rejected it. The ironic thing is that religious people hate it...go figure

Grant / 12 Sep 2006 / 10:51 AM
[...] We've opined about different aspects of what online community is about. But my friend, Paul, is asking the deep question: What is community? I am trying to figure out what community really is. Without any pre-thought, I can say that most people who say this word probably don’t have a clear idea about what it is either. I think that it is more than feel good meetings and friendship, because there are times in community that are tough and not fun. I think that it is more than saying hello at church and asking how someone is doing, because I have been in those situations and felt very lonely. I think it has to be more than just meeting together regularly without getting to know the lives of the people gathered, because that is a place that is too easy to hide. So I guess I know a lot about what community is not, and not a whole lot about what it is. [...]

So What Is Community? at effective web ministry notes / 12 Sep 2006 / 10:57 AM
I have been working with "communities of practice" at work. Community in that context really has another meaning. There, its really about connecting professionals with similar interest. Assuming relationships are created and connections made, sharing (of knowledge) increases. Which is different from "church community" and "neighborhood community"

Matt / 18 Sep 2006 / 8:58 PM
On Grant's putting the onus on "leaders" -- It is a very risky thing in that position to expose and be vulnerable/authentic. I've been playing more and more with that in my "secular" job. With some it bodes well, with others it scares them but they want it, and with others -- well, we have to be careful about casting our pearls before swine. I feel that it is a catch-22 -- it's needed, wanted, desired -- but there are those that use it like a deadly weapon against you. It ain't just religious folks that hate it -- of course, to some, the corporate world IS their religion and they must keep its sacred cows sacred.

wayne / 04 Oct 2006 / 8:13 AM
Wayne, good point. For community to happen people have to be authentic, but there is always the risk that people will use someone's transparency against them - especially a leader. Yet, that doesn't mean that their reaction should change the actions of the leader. I think leadership needs to be willing to have people try to use their authenticity against them. This is entirely consistent with Jesus ministry. He allowed people to take what he said and use that to kill him. It sucks for the leader, but God gets the glory that way.

Paul / 04 Oct 2006 / 8:11 PM