Like a fire

State of the Heart

Last night I attended my first Ash Wednesday. It was not much what I expected. I guess I was thinking it would be a lot more ritualistic. I had a picture of me on my knees, hands folded prayerfully, tears in my eyes, looking up while someone gently reached down and rubbed ashes on my head. Well, that didn’t happen.

Instead, I heard about the season of Lent and how this is a time of acknowledging brokenness and guilt. Not for the purpose of feeling bad and making amends, but to consecrate our hearts to God again. It was very clear from scripture last night, that God wants our hearts. Better than giving up something like drinking wine or eating chocolate is to give God our hearts. Again, not so that he can lock it away from all the bad things we put into it, but to restore it to himself and thereby make it work again.

There were many states of the heart talked about last night – fearful, callous… I think I fall into the stone heart group. I remember asking God when I was younger to even out my life, take away the extreme swings in my heart. Now I wish for a little more suppleness.

About a month ago, I started a practice in confessing my feelings to God. I think that will be my biggest celebration of Lent. I want to stop whenever I am aware of my feelings (which is a lot nowadays) and tell God how I feel for no other purpose than to know his presence in my heart.

2 Comments

1. 

   Hey Paul, Wasn't I happy to see new posts ... About the states of the heart - I realised that I usually got myself a stone heart when my relationship with God wasn't at its best, coz then I'd become indifferent about things in my life and other people's lives, since I didn't have to trust or have faith or trully love or pray earnestly or feel guilty about sin, etc. Confessing your feelings to God will certainly bring back the extreme swings...

   Elsie / 07 Feb 2008 / 10:37 AM

2. 

   Yeah...I'm not giving up anything for lent, nor have I ever. I know you read my piece on yesterday and I think I really just want to fall deeper in love with our creator. It's frustrating, b/c the more I come to realize just how much I want to please our Lord, I have the attitude of Ecclesiastes...ug.

   Sayward / 07 Feb 2008 / 1:04 PM