I have been reading Drive by Dan Pink for about four months now. It is a book that I have casually read, picking it up occasionally when I wasn’t reading something else. I was reading it from a perspective of how do I motivate and encourage the teens that show up in my ministry, but I was thinking about it today as a youth worker.

Here is a ten-ish minute video about the book.

Basically, what he finds is that when doing cognitive tasks, extrinsic incentives actually reduce creativity and production. I layman’s terms, rewards outside of the field of work, make people less motivated and excited about what they do.

So what drives a youth worker? I can think of several things right off the top of my head. There are all the unhealthy motivators such as the guy who was a nerd in school and has now become a youth worker to fulfill his need for acceptance. Also there is the very common youth worker that needs to feel needed and is mostly practicing co-dependance. But all these aside, what really motivates the person who wants to put themselves into working with youth?

Mostly, from what I see, it is people who want to help teens, usually from the mistakes and situations they themselves experienced. Of the many people I have worked with and known, most people just honestly want to help teens not screw up the way they did.

Given that, it is a wonder that any youth ministry actually happens. I see it as a testimony to how much youth workers want to help, that they continue to try despite the de-motivators they face in churches across the nation. The prototypical youth ministry situation involves a limited budget, limited resources and time, limited or nonexistent support from church leadership coupled with unrealistic, unhelpful expectations. Often, all of these de-motivators are present at once.

So according to Dan Pink, youth ministry is the perfect situation for drive. Because it is a situation limited by sparse compensation and seldom used praise, the extrinsic motivators that often demotivate aren’t present. On the other hand, there is constant challenge and the need to be creative in problem solving.

Here is my list of situations that promote drive in youth leaders:

Freedom to try new things and fail
Self-direction is better
Short term success in the beginning
Long term success after the first year or two (depending on the pastor’s support)

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There is a great post by Donald Miller (one of my favorite authors). Please go read it for yourself. He tackles two huge issues for the church today.

1. Do you have to attend church on Sunday morning in the building that has a cross to be considered in fellowship with other believers?

2. Is the church missing out on leadership because it focuses only on church leadership?

There are two great questions in there and a lot more to think about. He makes three points that really bring home something that is one of the things I hate about church today.

“1. Leadership in church has to do with teaching and administrating mostly centered around education.

2. Church attendance, then, is mostly about learning something,

3. When Jesus chose his disciples, they weren’t a group of educators.”

Now I have a bit of a soapbox that I need to get on. I have said so many times that I disagree with many of my former co-workers in their statement that “right thinking always leads to right living.” I think that is insane.

But the essential point is that I don’t think the church should be trying to make leaders, I don’t think the church should be mostly about education, and I don’t think that the church is on a good path when they talk about discipleship being a mix of the first two.

I need to flesh this out, so expect some future posts on this.

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In the business world, if someone claims to have control over something unrelated to their product or even something that is just beyond control they are laughed out of the industry. For example, if I said I can make one million people buy the iPad or make the same number of people hate Mark Oestreicher, then most people would conclude that I was playing with the facts.

So I wonder in the world of church growth people think it is possible to control anything more than attendance. I’m not saying churches can’t make an experience better and attract more people, but what will they be attracted to? A friend used to tell me often “what you save them with, is what you save them to.” If the reason someone comes is because of your awesome coffee bar, then that is all they will care about.

Similarly, in discipleship, there are things we can do to make people stick around. We can do things for them, be entertaining, whatever. But there really isn’t anything we can do about those things that ministry is really about. We can’t change people (guilt and legalism have been tried to utter failure), we can’t make them believe anything, we can’t really even change their mind. We certainly can’t give them peace or joy of life.

That’s why discipleship is usually much better when it focuses on a process. My part of that process is to be faithful in bringing thoughts to the relationship that are challenging and relevant, pray, get to know the person I am with and help them see themselves how God sees them. Instead of focusing on behavior, I tend to focus on how they feel about their lives and how they can realize the person they were created to be.

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I wonder how it became standard that small groups in churches decided to study a book together. It’s not that I think there is anything wrong with reading a book together, but with the decline in books on paper and the trend in younger people to only read what they have to and mostly (that means facebook), I have started wondering if there might be some more obvious foci of groups.

If you find the advantages of reading a book; sharing thoughts, personal thoughts on the text, perspective, sharing an experience, and the relationships that form out of reading a book together, then it should be easy to find some alternatives that might be much better than reading a book.

How about:

Restoring a car
Wine tasting
Discussing movies and their messages
Taking a class together
Learning to ski

The list could go on forever really. All of those experiences could be the thing that drives the common ground to build a relationship that goes beyond the common weather/sports/politics driven conversational relationships.

Check out what Seth Godin had to say about friendship.

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I’ve spoken about discipleship for a while, and I usually begin most of those talks with two questions that qualify discipleship as the type of relationship that invests the kingdom in someone else through a close relationship. In other words, what Jesus did with his disciples.

The first question: “How many of you have been discipled like that?”

Often two thirds to one half of the room will raise their hands. Many have had that type of relationship with others and been led into a deeper relationship with Jesus. Most of the time it looks like a Bible study or a small group that meets once a week. It might be a breakfast or after dinner group, but usually the focus is a book or the Bible.

The second question: “How many of you are discipling someone else like that right now?”

This question never receives more than a ten percent response. I have spoken to lay people and pastors alike and it is never higher than ten percent. Less than ten percent of the people who come to a talk about discipleship are out there practicing what is called the Great Commission.

It’s time for something different, and that is what I have been trying for the past 15 years. There are four things that I have seen that have become hallmarks of the way I do discipleship. These four things are what I have come to rely upon to know that I am doing the right things in discipleship.

Process over Outcomes
Intrinsic over Extrinsic Value
Dynamic over Static Relationships
Heuristic over Algorithmic  Structure

In the next few posts, I want to expand these markers of discipleship and make clear what I mean about each of these ideas.

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I have been working on my first book (which I have been planning to make available as an ebook) for some time now. The process is not all I have expected, but the biggest challenge for me is the style of writing I want to use. I decided early on that I wanted the book to be short and concise, much like Tom Peters‘ book Design. I really like (though many don’t) the writing style of Rob Bell and John Eldredge, but think the material calls for something more like Jim Belcher or Eric Geiger.

So after struggling with this dilemma for several drafts and re-writing many chapters, I have invited a second writer into the process. Actually, as I was talking about it with my wife, she made me realize that I just wanted to include her. So the process is starting over again as she begins helping me refine my thoughts and co-writes with me. Hopefully, this will make the book even better than I anticipate and speed the process as well.

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I have recently been following Donald Miller’s blog. He has some great advice for writers and has really captured my attention. Donald Miller, if you don’t know, is a great writer who sets story above content without sacrificing the message. That last sentence proves that I should take his advice:

“If you read these books, your writing will improve to the point people who read your work will begin to comment on how well you write. Sometimes the difference between an okay writer and a great writer is simple. I’ve read quite a few books on writing and here is, in my opinion, the collection every writer should have in their library.”

I am already starting to read the list, but I was thinking about story telling. Donald is a craftsman when it comes to telling a tale. What I do is often similar in telling the stories that inform my faith. So I am hoping that these books will both make me a better writer and help me hone my craft at story telling. Check out the blog for the full list.

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I have been thinking madly about this MBA program that Seth Godin is offering that I applied for yesterday. After reading much of the information on the site, I think it would still be an amazing thing to be in that program, but I have thought more about what I would do if it did. I really don’t want to wait around to start doing something, so I am starting something soon.

What I am thinking of will be something very new for me and something that starts small. I want it to start with only a few people, but I think it has the probability of growing into something gargantuan. That’s all I can really say about it for now, but I think it is going to be called The Initiative.

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It would seem obvious, but relationships are key in ministry. I’m not proud of it, but I used to force a lot relationships out of obligation. There are many expectations that go with ministry positions and not all of them are healthy or reasonable.

What I found in different positions I have held is that there are people who will expect that their pastor will be there for all of the important things in their life. Pastors know this of course and want to be there for those special moments. The problem I see happen is when this agenda is the focus of the relationship instead of any general interest in fellowship or companionship. Often, because of the agenda (you need to be present) the form overtakes the substance of a relationship. When this happens, a very surface level relationship forms that counteracts the normal, healthy type. It leads to a contrived relationship that lacks depth and affection.

I was trained to be this in several positions I held. It’s not that I was put in a room and told how to do it. It was more an implicit teaching that came from the expectations of the people I was responsible to. You can easily see how it happens. The youth pastor is expected to be at the ball games, the tryouts, the concerts, etc. and that isn’t really a bad thing. It IS often a distancing of relationship though. Often, I would sit in the stands and watch and then go home. There wasn’t much hope of actual contact and when it did happen I found out something very important.

The kid I was there to see didn’t want to be seen with me.

I didn’t blame the kid for feeling awkward about this adult who was not related was there to see him. It WAS a little awkward. I realized that the agenda got in the way of the relationship. It was a barier to real fellowship and affection.

So I started doing something really brazen. I stopped going to those things. Actually, I was in a position at the time that made it physically impossible for me to even be present at all the events. There were just too many of them. I started meeting with people just to meet. We didn’t work through a book or read the Bible (although those things usually came up). Instead, we just did what most people do when they get to know each other. I left the agenda at the door and decided to get to know people. Sometimes it was hard for the person I was meeting to not expect an agenda. I still get questions like, “Uh, wasn’t there something you wanted to ask me?” Most people are really surprised that I would meet just to get to know them – pleasantly surprised.

Now, when I go to an event, it is usually because I was asked. There isn’t any awkwardness afterward because this person knows (and is ok with telling their friends) that I am their pastor. They know that I am there because I wanted to see them do their thing.

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So since my posting fast, I have noticed something about myself. I don’t really do ministry like I used to. I mean I REALLY don’t do it at all like I used to. To compare:

Used To

I used to spend hours and hours preparing how I was going to present something to youth. I would think about the words I used, clips I could use, illustrations, etc. It took most of my time, I loved doing it, and I wasn’t half bad at it.

Basically, I wasted a lot of energy.

Now I

I rarely work on context of a message beforehand. I didn’t intend to do this, but I had a very diverse group early on, and I never knew who might show up, so preparation became futile. Now, instead of research and polishing my presentation, I pray and think about what God would like to say to the group. Most of the group meetings are more like processing what God tells us about our lives and those around us.

I like this way much better now. Sure it saves me a lot of time, but the best thing is that I am more able to respond to the people in the room. It actually takes more time because of the change in focus. Instead of working on the presentation, I am working on getting to know the people, listening to God and making connections for everyone involved. It functions more like a process group than a small group or Bible study.

I realize this wouldn’t work for everyone or even for me in a different situation, but I have really loved this style of ministry.

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