I don’t think we should strive to be linchpins. Eventually, we are going to have to leave our positions within a group. I think it is much better to prepare people for that time rather than put ourselves in a position of feeling the loss of our absence.

Discipleship in the kingdom seems to point to something completely different. It is a recognition and investment of one person into another so that they are both bettered by the relationship. But the acknowledgement is there that at some point they will separate and go on to other relationships.

I completely agree with the book about how we are all unique and need to acknowledge our own diversity. I think that is a central part of the kingdom. I just don’t see in any way how the kingdom needs to hang on one person in any area.

I don’t like vague, and I don’t think vague is affective.

Let me explain. I once sat in a staff meeting where there was a real issue with someone’s attire. This could have been handled easily out of the staff meeting, but the guy in charge was a bit spineless. Instead, he decided to address the whole staff in a very vague way reminding us of the dress code. Guess what, it didn’t work. Not only did the staff member not get the message that they were inappropriately dressed, everyone else wondered if they had done something wrong.

That’s just an example, but here is the gist. Vague isn’t inspiring. I think about some of my early reformation experiences. For example, the first question in the Westminster Catechism. What is the chief end of man? To glorify God and enjoy him forever. This is a statement that I would call true, but vague. It doesn’t speak to me as an individual. It’s just a comprehensive thought about how we should live. But it’s too vague to be helpful.

Much like the Sunday school answer of Jesus. It works for just about every answer, but it isn’t helpful. Or the sharing of the gospel as it is commonly one in America, especially the south. “Did you know Jesus died for your sins?” It is just too vague for anyone to really care. If anything, they will probably be offended that you are calling them a sinner. Like much of the contemporary church’s rhetoric, it might be true, but it just isn’t helpful.

So what would be helpful? How about, “Jesus died so that you can be free from porn addiction.” Sure it’s not all encompassing, but it is good news to those who are suffering porn addiction. Maybe the positive is better though. “Jesus died so that you can live an epic life enjoying the freedom from your own devices of slavery. What would be the most epic life you could imagine?”

Maybe this is the reason we don’t see epic Christianity very often. I don’t know about anyone else, but I am ready for that kind of life.

Link

“There is a major difference between a student who is trying to live a life that is “not-influenced” and a student who is living their life “to influence.” The two couldn’t be more opposite.”

What would teens be like if they approached life as an influencer instead of a follower. There is something remarkable about influencers. Generally, they know what they are doing, they have an idea where they are going and they provoke a response in people to join them in their idea revolution.

I say idea revolution because that is my understanding of influence. Ideas are way more influential than things or even actions. The idea is also the commodity of this generation of American teens. They may come and go with the trends, but the ideas, if understood, are what changes their world.

So why aren’t there more people, especially teens who frequently know everything, infleuncers?

I think Seth Godin taps something in his book tribes:

“People who challenge and then change the status quo, do something that’s quite difficult. They overcome the resistance of people they trust, people they work for, people in their community. Every step along the way, it’s far easier to stop and accept the thanks of the balloon factory workers than it is to persist and risk the humiliation of failure.

So why do it?

Faith is the unstated component in the work of a leader and I think faith is underrated.”

Influencers are disrupters. They change the status quo. It’s not easy to be around influencers, but it is almost without fail better and more fulfilling. The problem is that very few people are so convinced about what they do and who they are. How has the Apple vs. PC debate become so polarizing? It’s because some people are absolutely convinced that one platform is better than another. That’s what is necessary for influence.

What would happen if teens were absolutely convinced of who they  are, what they were created to be and it informed everything they do? That’s why most of my time in youth ministry isn’t spent looking for the best ice breakers or games. Instead, I want to get to know teens well enough that I can point to how God created them and how that helps them be the person they were created to be.

It’s a long, sometimes frustrating process, but it is also what I am created to do.

“Yes, you can train them. By rewarding some behaviors over others, by keeping some promises not others, by having some expectations instead of others, you get the audience you deserve. Some things you can train customers to do:

• Be respectful
• Be patient
• Keep their satisfaction to themselves
• Be selfish
• Be focused on a superstar
• Demand personal service
• Be calm
• Never settle for the current iteration
• Be cheap
• Embrace acceptance
• Spread the word
• Expect pampering
• Demand free
• Be eager to switch brands to save a buck
• Value and honor long-term loyalty
• Be skeptical

The customers you fire and those you pay attention to all send signals to the rest of the group.”

I wonder what this would look like int he church. I don’t think churches are businesses or that church people are customers (or consumers) but I wonder what an intentional training would be like.

I am pretty sure it’s possible, because people in churches have already been trained in many ways. Things many people take for granted in churches, like when to bow your head and close your eyes, when to stand when to sit, already point to social conditioning. Is there a way we could train people in churches? Should we?

Tim Schmoyer wrote an article yesterday that is exactly what I have been seeing now for years in youth ministry. Here’s what he says:

“Adam McLane says it’s less about giving teenagers lots of information about God in a sterile church environment (not that there isn’t a place for that, because there is), but maybe it’s more about pushing them into situations that stretch their faith and make them seek God.”

Tim is quoting Adam, but he feels very much like the statement Adam says. If education could change people, if it could make an impact on people in such a way as to have a lasting affect, then our churches would be much different today. It’s not that it is useless, it just isn’t that affective. This is especially true when working with the teens of the church who have been inoculated with the Gospel.

That’s why I think discipleship is so much more than education. It is a deliberate relationship that reveals a person’s identity in Christ. Much like Ephesians 2:10 says, we are created for good works which God prepared in advance. It is so much more than that though, and here is the real problem I want to do away with. If we leave our discipleship relationships with vague ideas about the knowledge of the Bible and don’t go deeper into specific understanding of our Creator, then we might as well give up.

What I see is that when people are told these vague ideas about the Bible (the first question of the Westminster Catechism for example) is that people play it safe and remain as they are. What I also see is that when someone is courageous enough to get to know someone well enough that they can begin pointing to specific things that are a part of their identity, things that God made them to be that will make them awesome, then they are drawn into the wonder of God’s love.

It takes courage to invest in people and let them see who you are. Maybe that’s why so few people really do it. But the life, though usually much harder, is epic.

There is something about individualism that is a wonderful spark of who we are. To be truly yourself and different is a rare glimmer of how we are created. It can also be a self-defeating existence for those who are made for relationships. In America, we often scream our individualism at each other in little ways, but for the most part, we keep our homogeny comfortable for us and everyone around us.

I thought this was a funny play on the way we are created until I came across the word autodidactic. Autodidacticism is simply self directed learning. It is reminiscent of John Dewey, Maria Montesorri, and Neil Postman. Most people have to have a bit of this type of learning and everyone in education knows the value of this kind of self-direction. There are also some problems with self directed learning. Obviously, our learning is limited to what we know or can find out on our own.

What is interesting to me is how this plays out in the church. Historically, the church has downplayed the positives of autodidactic learning while playing up its weakness. Many churches teach an implicit conformity to behavior and even fashion while minimizing individualism in personality and attitude. We all know the cliche church man who wears khaki pants, brown leather shoes and belt, and a golf shirt or button down. There are new variations on this like faded jeans and plaid shirts, but they tend to find each other and recognize each other from a long way off. Many of these guys came to this homogeny on their own and you could even make a case for it getting less homogenous than earlier times in our culture. Yet, I wonder what it is that drives us towards it and even more I wonder what the effect is in our churches. The countless small groups, Bible studies, and classes that are labeled discipleship seem to promote a safe homogeny through a mostly educationally, self-directed approach. In other words, come to church, learn about God and then go look for him on your own when you leave and spend the majority of your time out in the world. It is the rare situation when someone goes out of the small group Bible study and walks with another in the world showing them how God works and helping them to recognize what he is doing around them.

After following all the patterns of discipleship, I have become convinced there so many things that we can’t teach ourselves. Specifically, I don’t think we can teach ourselves who we are. Someone might come by this secret of our identity through a series of trials and failures, but it seems to be the anomaly. What appears to be apparent is that in discipleship, which is a relational type of learning, we need to rely on another to direct our learning instead of trying to be self directed.

What I have found is that discipleship is a process of helping others see God at work around them and pointing to what that says about themselves and God. This seems self evident and a bit pedantic until you look at the way we do church in America. It reminds me of a quote I once heard (sorry, I can’t recall the author of the quote). “It is amazing how much light the Bible shines on most Bible commentary.” Like groups in youth ministries and schools across the nation, each person is committed to being an individual and at the same time being accepted, usually for how they look, what they like, etc. I would say from the quote, it is amazing how much individualism points to homogeny.

“Andrew Root (photo by Courtney Perry)

Hello Youth Ministry friends, I’m sorry to interrupt your regularly scheduled blog reading, but I have broken into transmission to offer you an opportunity.

I wanted to get before you the chance to get a free copy of my book, Relationships Unfiltered. As the new school year approaches and you think about volunteer leader meetings and trainings I would like to suggest you take a look at Relationships Unfiltered. It’s written just for this setting with discussion questions and chapters filled with illustrations and stories–but also promises to get you and your team thinking theologically about your core practice this coming school year: forming relationships with young people.

Here’s what I can do: If you’ll email me I’ll send you a free copy of the book so you can look it over and decide if it would be of help to you and your volunteers.

If you’re interested in using it, you can then go to Zondervan.com or Zondervan.com/ministry and type in the code 980752 in the “source code” box.  Starting August 1 this will give you a 40% discount on as many books as you’d like.

And I’ll also offer this, if you do use the book with your team, I’m willing to do a select number of skype or ichat conversations with you and your team after getting through the book.”

There you have it. Here is why this makes so much sense. First, this is without a doubt a great resource. Second, this introduces a new way to use this book. Third, it sets Andrew Root up as an expert in youth ministry and the new model for relational ministry. Fourth, he is paving the way to many speaking opportunities. Fifth, it is generous and kingdom minded.

I was already looking at this book as a resource for all of our leaders and teachers moving them into discipleship instead of just teaching. But now, I have put this on the top of my list of resources.

Thanks Andrew!

I love looking at people’s desk and seeing what is there and how they are working. This is my desktop right now without any tidying up. Around from the top: black speaker (cambridgeworks), Jade plant, wild sage candle given to me from Cathy at Christmas (never burned), Barnes and Noble card, black ink pen, phone, stapler, light (Ikea), MBP power supply, right speaker, lead pencil, burned CD labeled “Band Music”, two notecards reminding me of follow up contacts, my staff agenda on top of my legal pad (I’m old fashioned, legal pads are a must for me), Magic Mouse, MacBook Pro, book (Relationships Unfiltered – Andrew Root), coaster with a mostly empty Panera cup (Dr. Pepper), tea cup, and finally speaker inputs.

For example, we have a guy in our group who is mostly a bully. He self admittedly picks on people and verbally tears them down. He’s intelligent, observant, and has a knack for knowing what will really hurt. One night, he very candidly admitted what he was doing and followed that up with the additional sting that he only does it to people he knows he can get a reaction from. One of our leaders had an amazing break-through with him. She verbally processed what it would be like for him if a year from now, he had a different set of friends who were all there because of how he defended them, instead of attacked them. That was a year and a half ago. Guess what, he has a different set of friends now. Not all of them are friends because he has defended them, but I know that some of them are.

OK, that’s not prophecy, but it is amazing. Many of our deeper conversations with these teens is when we see something they are gifted in that they are abusing. It’s like they understand they have this amazing faculty to be awesome in their lives and the lives of those around them, and use that as a self serving, self validating tool.

Then there’s me. I am coming to realize that I am in the exact same position. What God has gifted me with and designed me to be has a lot to do with discernment and empathy. It’s just my natural go to when working with human beings. On a good day, that enables me to be able to help someone who is hurting see how they can be healed. On a bad day, and the bad days often out weigh the good, I am cynical of everyone around me, and I use that to make myself feel superior and clever. I really do want to give this up, but it is so natural that I often don’t even realize I am doing until it is done.

My cynicism is really just discernment run amuck. It is something that is God given that sin has corrupted and twisted. It accomplishes the opposite of what it ought to. Instead of bringing comfort and peace, it brings feelings of inadequacy and strife. That is the power of cynicism.

Man I need to have my own youth pastor.